Saying Goodbye
I’m the kinda girl who hates to say goodbye. For some reason it always seems so permanent to me. But there are times when saying goodbye is necessary. Over the past 16 months I’ve been on a journey. A journey to say goodbye to my old ways. It hasn’t been easy…to really stop these things I had to get to the roots…why do I do these things? Why do I return to behaviors that continually cause me pain?
One thing I’ve never really had to do was say goodbye to a person. I met a friend that I had a deep connection with. I trusted this person too soon. I ran my life like the old Kelley. I was not good enough and this person was amazing. I found the saying If something seems to good to be true it probably is-very true. There were so many things at play…my need to be validated, my broken self-esteem, my need to put all my “stuff” out there right away so I can be either accepted or rejected. As you can probably predict this person turned out to have lied to me about some major stuff…then there was manipulation…it was my fault for the lies…throwing my past in my face…of course I believed it for a second. Not soon after came “the meltdown” where several things in my world came crashing down. It was one of my lines in my life that I talked about here. It’s funny that during all of that time this person was no where to be found. I was fortunate to have lots of other amazing people to support me that weren’t scared away. That’s when my eyes were opened. This person wasn’t around because I wasn’t feeding into the lies anymore.
I’ve learned such an important lesson from this “friendship”…first I need to listen to the advice of those people who love me and I need to listen to that voice in my head but I also learned that it’s okay to say goodbye. Sometimes we have to say goodbye to those people who are not healthy for us. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t being a good friend…remember you have to put the life mask on yourself first. If someone is going to hurt me, manipulate me or throw my past in my face I don’t need that kind of person in my life. Once I gained that principal it was tested again and again in my life.
I’ve talked so much about how thankful I am for the friends who were there to push but not judge, to encourage and not push me down. I’ve really learned what it means to be strong(through Christ) even though I am really weak. My Monday night friends loved how I would find modern songs to go along with our journey. I miss you girls…this song is for you…don’t be afraid to say goodbye to those people or things that bring you down…it will only make you STRONGER!!!!
